The Best Friend of the Gay

My best friend came out about a week ago heehee.

...But I still found it unbelievable when he told me.
(even though deep down I kinda knew like how does that work)

I mean I've never been homophobic or against gay marriage (QUITE THE OPPOSITE), but it was just weird to finally have him admit it.. I've always assumed he was gay.. but he'd just denied it for so long that I just banished the thought from my mind in a mystical sort of way... Also, I've never had a gay friend before. I've always imagined being friends with gay or lesbian people the same as being friends with different races of people.

It was strange when he told me, it was like when you have a visualisation of what a place you have never visited before will look like and then when you get there and you actually see it for real,  you see that it was different in some ways to how you imagined it, but similar in other ways..

Hmm I guess this blog is just about my experience with him so far ever since he came out. (I'm not trying to alienate him, it's just a new experience for me and it's interesting hehe)

How he told me

ok let me set the scene.

It was fucking boiling outside and it was my last lesson on a wednesday afternoon. (also I did not wish to be there for mathematical reasons). There was this massive sweat puddle that was defying gravity and was on my face because that kind of stuff just happens to me all the time and it was really annoying. Anyway, I don't normally sit next to him but on that day for some reason he was next to me (just condensed next to me like 'poof') yeah who cares he was next to me. I was casually misunderstanding everything in maths as I always do, when he suddenly whispered to me. (he whispers really fucking loudly)

"EVE"
"what"
"I'm gay."


I was just like:
(°∀°)

..I was just literally smiling awkwardly for the rest of the lesson like I didn't know what else to do.

until

He decided he wasn't convinced that I believed him so he showed me his phone as he scrolled through his iBooks collection of 
NONE OTHER THAN GAY PORNOS IN THE FORM OF LITERATURE. 
(as he was getting them out I was like 'ohh no hehhhee I believe you there's no need for this heehhhheee')

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THERE WOULD STILL BE NO NEED FOR ME TO SEE THAT IF YOU WERE A STRAIGHT BOY

ungrhhh I guess he must have been bursting with things to talk about because I was one of the first people he told but he'd never mentioned anything to do with sexuality before and it just shocked me and creeped me out. 

..and then he started talking abut this history teacher (kinda fit) called Mr Castle (HOW IRONIC IS THAT THOUGH HAHAHA) and asked me if I'd noticed him frequently staring at his arse.

...

...
...

It was just so weird for me at the time. It was like his personality just clicked like that in an instant and I was finally seeing my friend for who he really is. (I'm totally used to it now though hehehehe)

OH YEAH AND ANOTHER AWKWARD THING HE SAID TO ME THAT LESSON WAS:

"AT LEAST YOU KNOW I'M NOT TRYING TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS"

ok.

There are two things that are wrong with that sentence.

1. "get into your pants"
2. the fact that he used the wording: "pants"

Where the fuck has he even heard that ultra creepy phrase? Ew omg probably his porno literature. 

Pants. Aren't those men's trousers? (in the UK) Is he trying to make me a lesbian or something.

..Unless he's referring to the american wording for: 'underwear' 

uchh ew. why boy why.

Not to mention he asked how my "love life" is going. Was he trying to have 'girl talk' with me? I don't have girl talk with the girls I know let alone boys.

lol I don't have a love life.

..Yeah so that was basically how it went when he told me. Surprisingly he said he hadn't told his parents about it, but I reassured him that his mother probably already knows and that she'll love him no matter what. (His mother had already asked him before if he was gay)

He was worried about how his dad would react though.

Today, he told us that he told his parents and they didn't react as badly as he thought they would (ie. his dad). (ps that's a lesson for all of you wonderful people who have yet to come out as they call it. please talk to me if you have any concerns ily bbes)

I just feel really proud of him for finally telling people about it. It must take a lot of courage to do that in a world where homophobia still exists. I guess that's why I smiled so awkwardly when he told me. It was also weird on the bus on the way home. I couldn't stop thinking of all the times I thought he seemed to be acting 'camp' when he really was just being gay - which he is. (not that all gay people act like that.)

Being friends with him is also actually even funnier now that I know he's gay. 

It's like he can be himself more in front of us. Plus it's also hilarious how other people don't know yet hahahahaha.

Like boys.

Our whole year group is taking part in this thing called: "Skills Week" which is basically where we work on the computer in one of the ICT suites (ours stinks like egg farts and makes me want to kill myself) and I sit next to my newly found gay best friend and my other bessie (who happens to be le female). 

Anygay, Gay bessie sits next to another male friend of ours who is oblivious to the fact that the person he is sitting to is in fact gay. Female bessie and I laughed like hyenas on crack for only about the whole day because gay bessie and male mate were having a lot of bodily contact (they were having a fucking cat fight at one point) and gay bessie was clearly practicing his flirting techniques.

Here are some of the phrases I picked up from their conversations:

• "Shhhhhhh..." *sensually
• "Oh stop it, you"
• "You know you love it"

Now it's not like he's a different person. We still make fun of each other. (I can now embrace his 'queen' into my skill-ful 'making fun of') I've always made fun of him and he's always made fun of me. It shows what great mates we are. It shows what a mega cool bond we have. We're at that level in friendship that we can be bitches to each other and still take it as a joke because we don't take ourselves too seriously and know that we're only joking around like gay camels in antarctica.

Like today, he showed me this man perfume he had for christmas (I believe some people call it cologne). Now don't get me wrong, I like the smell of man perfume, but I don't love it. 

Basically what I'm getting at is he sprayed it on my face and I didn't want it on my face and it burned my eyes.

But at least I smelled nice for the rest of the day and that weird egg smell wasn't as painful to endure today because the man perfume was all I could smell really.

Also, if I ever decide to persue shopping as a regular hobby, then I could use him as a fashion accessory. (The Gay Best Friend I believe they call it)

Now don't try and see this as an insult because you can't deny that the sound of having a gay best friend is ultra cool and the fact is many fashion people have one. Anyway, I would see being referred to as a fashion item a compliment. It's not like I'm only friends with him because of this new discovery, as I didn't know when I met him. I just see it as a valuable bonus. 

omg I could be Paris Hilton I just need a Chihuahua and money hahaha

hai guyzz i am perais hillton aka eve and i am god of the chihua hua speicie yayyyyy

(*crying because that will never happen)

ANYWAY

So far (and forever and ever amen) having a gay best friend is totally fun and it still makes no difference to me at all whether he's gay, straight, a-sexual..

He's still the same person, I'm still the same person. He's just finally being his true self now and I'm really happy for him. 

I am a bit worried about other people in my school will think because a lot of them are fucking hateful, but I know that I am going to support him through all of this and so are the rest of his friends.

There's absolutely no reason why anyone should even consider thinking they have the right to pick on anyone who's different because they don't fucking deserve it and I think everyone should have respect for people that show so much courage at (often) really early stages in their lives. He was honest and brave enough to come out and I'm sure there are many others who have yet to do so and some who don't have to admit to anything. They can do it in their own time (or not) because their lives are nothing to do with me and it's none of my business. Just like my friend's sexuality has nothing to do with their lives.

He's still the same person and he's still a great friend and I love him for it. If anything, I think him 'coming out' has strengthened our friendship and made me see him as an even more admirable person. I'm so, so proud of him.



The even better times are yet to come.
"No hate, just love."


ps: we're gonna watch a movie tomorrow to celebrate teehee (WORLD WAR Z so we'll probably fan girl over Brad Pitt together lmao)

Mothering Fail

I may be a 15 year old hormonal bitch, but I know my rights from wrong.
Such as how to treat a fellow human being.

Let me share a story (basically how I was inspired by this topic)

Once upon a time,

Being the poor, sad person that I am, I was enjoying a visit to a local Supermarket and was casually pretending to look like I can afford everything (I really can't) when all of a sudden I found myself in the checkout queue with a vegan bar (still not giving up ok). And there, standing before me was ... hmm how do I put this lightly?

a bitch.

Bitch also just so happened to be a mother of (what looked to me like) a 6 year old little girl.
(hence this topic *hint)

So as I was standing there in line (completely oblivious to the fact that behind me was a person with the personality of a piece of shit), I noted how 'she' was trying to make eye contact with me. So of course being the nice person that I am I smiled back.

Now, to a normal person, this would be the part where you:

1. Start up a friendly chat about the weather. (or how you need to see a psychiatrist in this case)
2. Compliment something. Someone. Anything.
3. Simply fucking smile back.
4. Just get the fuck on with your life and never talk the this new person (me) ever again because you know deep down what a complete and utter fucking bitch you truly are and genuinely having a conversation would be an embarrassment not only to you but to us all.

woaahhh but not this bitch!

She seemed to have taken my friendly mouth-creasing movement as a sign to show off, using whatever she could to make her seem like a big girl.

Even if it was her own daughter. 

(wow *clap clap* way to contribute to society. Dedication right there.)

This poor little girl is standing next to this female dog and all of a sudden her weird lips start moving. 

"GERO GET MEH SUMFING" (can't remember what it was, apologies)

So the poor, sweet innocent little child set off on her little journey to get what her lazy fucking 'mother' wants (probably scared for her life in case bitch decides to consume her as a punishment if she does anything wrong if children even bother to think that far ahead).

Upon returning all I can hear is that shit face (mum) lecturing her.

"ERMAHGERD U R SO STUPID I CARN'T BELIVE U DIS IS DA WRONG THING"

I swear she was genuinely telling her little girl (about 6 years old!!!!!!) off for bringing her the wrong thing from a huge fucking shop as if she expects her to know how to navigate it like fucking Captain James Cook the 6 year old.

BUT THAT WASN'T WHAT PISSED ME OFF.

What pissed me off was the fact that this little girl (tiny, innocent fucking child) actually believed her.

What kind of manipulative, fucked up, fail of a mother would try or even want their child to believe something like that? How often had she dictated this mentally scarring shit to this poor little person for her to actually believe it?

This is literally (and I quote) how they exchanged words:

bitch: What are you?

daughter: stupid

I COULD HAVE FUCKING PUNCHED THAT WHALE NIPPLED FACE RIGHT THERE IF I'D HAD THE COURAGE TO 

..and the worst part was that she made it appear like a fucking joke. She just looked up to all of us and smiled smugly as if saying: "Oh don't kids drive you crazy? Can't do anything right just always get in the way HAHAHAHA"

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE GETS IN THE FUCKING WAY?

YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN CHILD'S SELF ESTEEM

but oh my god when she looked up and expected a reaction from me and all the other people in the queue I felt like being sick all over her face.

and to my disgust some people actually chuckled along.
(why are there so many pissheads in this world)

can I just get all of you between my hands and smash your stupid heads together? 

I didn't even twitch. Just stared at the bitch. Intensely. Like a: "I'm gonna fucking kill you one day" kind of stare but with more passion.

But seriously how can you do something like that and live with yourself? To your own child? It's as if she's already set up that child to fail in life and I could see it in her eyes, she really believed her mother when she told her she was stupid. It just makes me sick. That poor girl is already about to receive a hard life before it's even started. All because of her mother.


Hmm.. so what possible damage has this penisface (the out-of-place penis is probably fucking up her brainwaves because let's be honest, who can be that fucked up naturally) already caused to her child's life?

1. Self-hate.
2. Feeling worthless
3. Shyness
4. Trouble making friends
5. Over sensitivity
6. Fear
7. Anxiety
8. Anger / Anti Social behaviour
9. More likely to get into abusive relationships
10. Perfectionism (doesn't ever feel what she does is good enough)

The list goes on...

Not to mention all of these could affect her ability to perform well in school? 

What kind of life lies ahead of this poor little person before she's even had the chance to really live?

Annoyingly, I don't think much can be done about this problem unless the problematic person actually tries to change it by themselves (and realises what a moron they are).

Seeing that all unfold in front of me made me realise how lucky I really am. It's just not fair how people are be born into things like this, making them all the more difficult to escape from. This emotional abuse that the little girl is suffering from, will stay with her for the rest of her life. And there's nothing she can do about it. (Well done mum. Way to ruin someone's life. fucking A*. Only one you've probably ever had anyway. )

I did some research into child abuse after this encounter and found this website. It explains child abuse very well and is worth looking at just for awareness. I'm not an expert on this kind of topic but there are plenty of people who are. All it takes is a conversation.

http://www.teach-through-love.com/emotional-child-abuse.html 

If you feel there's something wrong in your life. PLEASE do something about it. No one can help you unless they know.




Sorry this is quite depressing but I needed this rant heh.

ps: I hate the bitch forever and ever amen.

Exams are Depressing

"WOW I'M FUCKING GLAD THAT'S OVER"

-every normal teenager after exam/s ie. me

Ok so these past weeks have been a monstrous hell hole in my life and I can totally see why the Chinese commit suicide as they have even harder things to deal with than us 'brits', during these harsh times.

I am only a vulnerable little 15 year old (year 10 in le UK) and there is only so much I can bear in my eventful, majestic daily life. LET ALONE NEARLY DIE OF STRESS FROM THE PRESSURE OF MULTIPLE EXAMS IN THE SPACE OF 11 DAYS.

"If you don't do well in your exams, no one will hire you"

"Everyone hates failures"

"If you fail these exams you may as well go die in a hole"

"You will stack shelves in your local Tesco if you fuck up this exam, unless you like the smell of 'every little helps' with added failure as a bonus"

f-u-n.

No, but what freaks me out most about exams is that they're going to be on a permanent record, for the rest of our depressing lives. Like a prison life sentence. (they even give us a "candidate number")

Ugh I just really wish there was some other way that we could all be judged on intelligence. Instead of being judged on memory and how well you can 'apply your knowledge'. Someone needs to invent a machine that tells you how intelligent someone is or something

no fuck that, that's a shit idea Eve. What the fuck are you thinking if you came up with delusional answers like that in a GCSE exam then you would most definitely fail you stupid shit.

BUT THEY EXPECT SO MUCH FROM US

• They don't care about how we would also like to enjoy our lovely social lives (I can honestly say I have not had a real social life for about 1 year). Like all those cool american kids you see in movies who roam around their countries with pure freedom

• They don't care about how much we've learnt or understand about the subject. If we don't use the correct keywords, we don't get the fucking mark.

• They don't care that we have piles of homework in addition to revision.

I can just picture one of those examiners right now. 

Chuckling to himself. 

With his beard going mad across his face.

Temporarily blinding him

Then fabulously smoothing it off of his stupid face like Elvis.

AND THEN PROCEEDING TO MARK MY WORK AS 'FAIL'

whhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyy

*rant over (for now)

On an intelligent note, I know there is nothing that can be done about how we are 'judged' (and this is probably the best way they judge us and teach us things at the same time) and I guess it also shows employers how hard we are willing to work to achieve what we want (or don't give two shits about)... I don't want to change anything, I just needed to get my thoughts out there okaiiii xoxo.

Peace owt students

from Eve the miserable (and frequently grammatically incorrect) pupil.