My Work Experience Day 1
My Work Experience Day 2
the hiiiiiills are alive with the sound of me screaming with happinessssssss
I have a new boss!!!!!!
He's french!!!!!!!
NO MORE ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOUR FROM MY PREVIOUSLY SHIT BOSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
It was a lovely Wednesday morning and as per usual I was escorted to my desk of pure misery by none other than Rob (cause of misery) who met me at the security door. I had to be in earlier that day as my beloved (I've never talked to her in my life) english teacher was coming to visit me in my work placement (oo how formal). But of course not at a reasonable time because that luxury just never seems to strike me (naturally).
I arrived at 8:45 because she said she was going to be here at 8:30 (one of the ultra friendly -
unlike Rob - receptionists were giving me directions on how to take the bus home). So when I did arrive he was all huffy but sort of calm and said:
"Your teacher is not here yet so we will wait until 9am at which point she will be half an hour late hahaha"oh wow Rob you are so incredibly funny I think I'll show you my appreciation of your hilarity by not laughing.
So of course he didn't bother to give me anything to do during this time because, like I said before, he hates me for no reason.
Finally at about 9am she did actually appear and Rob had a sort of disappointed look on his annoying face.
Story behind his disappointed face
My mother was exchanging e-mails with him before my work experience (get in there mum), and I believe she told me that he mentioned getting an e-mail from a woman called 'Katie Price'. (he thought the massive-fitted woman was e-mailing him because she wanted him lol no shut up Rob in your dreams)
The fact is that an english teacher's name in my school has that name.
Therefore by observing the creature known as Rob closely, we can see that he still had his hopes up that the orange glamour model would actually show up (as if Rob get a hold of your life).
She has bleach blond hair and is a bit chubby, but to be fair she is extremely nice and upon meeting her I didn't really care, all that mattered to me was that there was now a human that I could socially interact with and make eye contact with etc.
Rob didn't know what the fuck was going to happen (he's a great team leader), but eventually decided we should all sit at a table with two tonne chairs that no one can lift probably because it seemed more meeting-ish. It was funny because Rob tried moving one to show his 'masculinity' but he doesn't have any and therefore couldn't. And then we had the meeting.
I'd never felt so fake in my life.
PLUS what she said at the beginning just set the atmosphere up to be awkward throughout the whole session. She said:
"I talked to Kyle earlier. I mentioned how you were also at work experience in this company and he blushed."Are you fucking serious.
Was there really any need to mention something like that. It's already awkward enough with Katie Price worshipper next to me who doesn't talk unless when he feels obliged to.
Ugh, so anyway the meeting went on like this:
"Oh wow what a building. You must love it here. I bet you love it here don't you. I wish I'd had this type of opportunity available to me back in my day.."
"Err yeah it's really eye opening. I get to experience lots of things (bullshit). So interesting heh."
"Wow yeah it really is a great opportunity, are you having fun?"
"..yeah"And then she started asking Rob all these questions and I swear that was the most I had ever heard him speak in the last few days (probably picturing my english teacher with massive boobs and raccoon eyes).
I think I zoned out then because I really didn't give a fuck about all of Rob's different qualifications because I don't really aspire to be anti-social and whatnot, but I think he did mention physics, chemistry, maths degrees etc.
Sigh at least he's probably good at his job..
And I guess I should be thankful that he even organised for me to come her for work experience...
even if he is a complete dick to me.
After the meeting a miracle happened.
I was set free. Free of the burden of Rob's presence.
He had to go off to some sort of special science event thing which of course he didn't invite me to. (FUCKING FINE BY ME ROB BYE)
So after 'Katie Price' left the building, Rob lead me through the corridor to another office (he walked like half run half walk obviously trying to get rid of me as soon as possible).
The new team/office was on the other side of the building, the side where the sun shone through the windows (Rob is clearly a vampire).
It was weird but by just by being on the other side of the building, I immediately noticed a difference. It felt so much more uplifting... everyone seemed so much more at ease. The offices were also enclosed, so you had to walk through a glass wall (obviously with a hole), to get into the office. The offices consisted of desks pushed together in varying numbers and arrangements.
He led me into the first office on the right, from the entrance of the floor. As we walked in, the whole team looked up (all male woops). The office had probably 7 desks with about 5 occupied. The team (unlike Rob's team who have by now probably been trained to be dickheads like him), actually smiled politely and seemed generally friendly and welcoming when they looked up. But, of course Rob was still in the room and ruined the happiness with:
"Here have her we don't want her anymore"wow thanks a lot Rob, way to end things nicely. I fucking hate you too. Thanks for the help with that excellent first impression.
I mean it would have been fine if he'd said that when we were actually friends because it would have clearly been a sarcastic joke, but I personally think it's a completely different story when we both silently resent each other.
Yeah so anyway, those were his last words and then I never saw him again. He's such a charmer.
So then he just fucked off back to his shitty team and left me with a glorious new team of possibilities. (fine by me).
As soon as he left, I was immediately approached by the team leader, who had just exchanged a quick (ie. short and boring) word with Rob (I feel you bro). He just told me to grab a chair, without introducing himself or anything, and before I knew it I was sat in front of him helping him choose which angle he should glue a plastic crossish part to a brown box (Horizontal or Diagonal). I asked him what it was for and he told me it was a surprise (how nice is he?), and that I should just choose what looked prettiest. I chose horizontal (don't ask me why). Already I felt involved in the team, which all went back to me feeling like I was actually useful for something. After I'd chosen, he good up quickly (he seemed really excited for some reason) and probably went to glue it on.
He came back (sat himself in front of me and came to the edge of his seat so I could see the box more clearly) and showed me his masterpiece and I just loved how much passion he had for such a simple thing.
His name is Yoann. He's french and really tall and dark haired. He is the youngest in his team (even though all the other's seem to be in their mid forties) and seemed to be around 35? He was sooo nice and welcoming and I was just like 'ahhhh he's so coooollll'.
After the wooden box scenario, he actually introduced himself to me and told me about the project. (I don't think I can tell you what it actually is because then I would basically be exploiting all of their valuable information). But basically the whole team are geniuses (to me anyway), with multiple degrees in science and maths and whatnot and yet they were still genuine enough to be kind to me and understanding enough to realise that I didn't know what the actual fuck was going on half the time and so explained everything...
Basically the project is really cool and involves this thing called an 'Octocopter' as you can see in this image that I have so thoughtfully included in this blog post:
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| ISN'T IT FUCKING BEAUTIFUL |
(MORE THAN FUCKING ROB EVER LET ME DO FUCK YOU ROB)
He was using these weird strap things and he had to cut off the ends and he kind of made it my duty for the rest of the three days to always throw away the ends or worthless bits n pieces
(kind of like how Rob is out of my life now bye Rob forever hahahaha)
He even entrusted me with his laptop (only to hold but you know). I had it on my lap while he started typing all this code madness or commands or whatever into this program, which would control the way the camera operated.
When he finished he held the octocopter up in the air (already switched on) and angled it so the camera was facing me. Then he started tilting it and I was like wtf are you doing but then he said:
"IS IT STILL LOOKING AT YOU"
It actually was.
How cool is that?!?!
It was doing that cool recognition thing that XBox Kinect also does
(PS4 kicks your ass anyway XBox One hahahaha).
So he was all merry and jolly and I was just so happy to feel like I played a (sort of) part in this work placement (we hadn't even had lunch at 12 yet omg).
After that happy little moment (even I was excited for the team because what they're doing is really amazing), he even suggested that I sit in on a meeting between his team and representatives of Cardiff University!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT A BIG DEAL THIS WAS TO ME
Rob fucking left me alone with nothing for two hours rather than even considering to let me sit in on none other than an actual MEETING
So how did the meeting go, you ask?
Err.. well as I mentioned before, I really do not know what the f is going on in this company (in terms of advanced language in departments such as electronics) and don't get my wrong, I do try my absolute best to pick up and get familiar with whatever I can... but the bottom line is...
I kept doing that 'dropping off' thing.
You know, it's like when you're a day before your homework is due to be collected in and while doing it, you kind of almost fall asleep all the time but then you kind of do this weird jolt movement and then you're kind of awake again until the whole process repeats itself.
...so basically:
- Bored / Don't know what the f is happening
- Eyes start getting REALLY heavy, breathing gets deeper
- You realise you are almost sleeping
- You somehow remember that what you are doing/observing is important (or that high class people are watching and judging you and are silently putting you into the 'low mental capacity' category in their large brains) and that sleeping is not an option.
- You experience a phenomenal jolt sensation that awakens your body temporarily but your mind is still like: "I don't give a crap, I'm out suckas"
- Process repeats
This thing happened to me throughout the WHOLE MEETING.
My eyes were the weight of fucking obese elephants.
I couldn't believe it was happening. I didn't even know why. What they were talking about was probably really interesting.
I bet it was because of the Maths.
which I am terribly shit at.
I did notice some things though...
(don't ask me how)
- Yoann was clearly the project manager as he was leading the discussion.
- There were altogether about 10 people
- They were all geniuses in their fields
- I did not belong
- Which made me very grateful
- There was only one woman (from Cardiff Uni)
- It was in the same room as the office
- Everyone just grabbed a chair (no desk, seats in certain places etc.)
- The main guy from the Uni was bald
- Although all the people were geniuses like Rob, unlike him, they were actually extrtemely good at communication and had great social skills...
- The meeting must have been 1 and a half hours long (it went on until lunch at 12)
- Yoann says that is a 'short' meeting, 'normal' ones are usually around 4 hours long (ohmahgerd)
- I noticed a guy on the side who didn't talk much and wrote down notes for the whole session. I think he only brought up something once towards the end. Sadly he reminded me of Rob.
Uhh yeah so that's what I remember from the meeting. I don't remember the content anyway but even if I told you, I would have to kill you.
No it's ok I was zoned out the whole time anyway so I only remember unimportant things
you do that anyway eve shut the fuck up
Lunch
Now if you're anything like me, you won't see 'lunchtime' simply as a time where food is consumed. No, I also see a different aspect of this 'luchtime' as quite important. And that aspect is errr..Socialness (I can't think of the proper word ok)
...which in this instance (day) was undeniably EXCELLENTAY
The lunch hall is in a different building to the one where the office is, so (similarly to rob and his team of exclusionists) we had to walk down the four flights of stairs and track through a maze of corridors (not actually that complicated sorry I tend to overemphasise), with all these security pads and card slot things, until we reached the open air and from then we had to go through these spinny doors and into the glorious hall of food (a canteen).
We walked in looking like 'the populars' from Mean Girls
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| we r so fetch |
err yeah so on the way there I had already picked up a conversation with the girl who isn't a permenant member of the team and she was really nice (I don't remember what we were talking about but I just hope it wasn't really stupid because I was SO tired for no reason). When we did sit down I noticed bald regina george (see previous posts about work experience) sitting with his mean team in silence.
OUR TEAM WAS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE FUCK YEAH
They were just so open and friendly. It's annoying because I can't remember what I talked about with that girl initially, but I remember her being good at keeping the conversation going... until it kinda just stopped. Then, I started talking to the guy next to me who was kinda quiet in the meeting- Rob. Except he was a good Rob. How ironic is that though hahahahahahaha.
What we probably talked about was what school I go to, subject choices, the project, their jobs, my work experience, my school, my background (Germany etc.), they're aims/achievemnts...
Until Yoanne joined us (I didn't think he was coming as he'd stayed behind after the meeting and told me to go with Rob (nice rob)), which kind of completely changed the atmosphere and everyone stopped talking hahaha.
But it was great because he actually also had manners and social skills and we started talking just to each other rather than as a group (the others carried on talking about something else I don't know).
Yoann and I talked about basically our social lives mainly. I think we talked a bit about me and my education and family and my future.. but I was more interested in him. How he got to the position he's in, his degrees, where he studied, what language he studied in etc etc...
The thing we talked about most though was about his kids and how he's worried that one of them is not picking up the french language (he's trying to bring his kids up bilingual- so he was interested in how it worked with me too I guess). Yeah ermm he's been speaking to them using a mixture of both french and english, so it doesn't seem likely that they will be bilingual unless he speaks to them in only french...
I told him about all the apps I used to learn chinese vocabulary and how you can watch television from other languages on the internet and how he could maybe have 'french weekends' where they can only speak french haha.
Hmm yeah so I got on with him really well and it was great because I felt I finally had something I could talk about knowingly (lol). It made me realise how much more fun it is talking to smarter people. They just have such good opinions and interesting things to say, I just could get enough of it haha.
While walking back to the office, we carried on talking about how the Chinese are advancing (with the education system and everything else), which is a topic I'm always interested in.
I mean, they're so fucking admirable
When we got back, the conversation stopped kind of on instinct (time to work, no distractions bitches). Yoann went off to do something else and I was left on that chair talking to that woman again, who sadly was now beginning to piss me off. I don't know why, but we started talking about vegetarianism and she had all these stupid views like how
"Animals don't get killed in the way they used to, society has moved on from that SWEETHEART."
wow fuck you I am not your lesbian lover you have no right to call me sweetheart and for your shit information, the way they get killed doesn't change the fact that they are still getting killed all the time.
So later on, Yoann decided to tell me he was going to take me with him to do some field work later that day, which I didn't really see as anything special at the time (field work in my mind normally involves shitty science experiments with unenthusiastic classmates in the lacking science department of my school).
Being the interesting person that he is, he put it like this:
"I have good and bad news. The good news is you can come with me for the test flight of the octocopter today. The bad news is you can't come tomorrow as there won't be enough room in the car and I need other members of the team."
Woah no that's fine by me Yoann, I'm all about optimism right now
(BUT HOW FUCKING COOL WAS IT THAT I COULD COME WITH HIM TO SEE HIM TEST FLY THE OCTOCOPTER)
He didn't really know what he could give me to do at the time because he needed to make preparations for the test flight, so he said I could sit with Rob (good Rob), while he (Rob) did some drilling and put things together for the octocopter (he's the practical, handy manish part of the group as you can tell).
Good Rob was so fun to be around. He's one of those smug-sarcastic type of people who'll speak his mind and be funny about it at the same time. He has a little room opposite to the team's main office where he has all his tools and materials (screws and whatnot). A large desk filled up about half the long, slim room and the rest of the space was for moving around with the (ultra comfy) spinny chairs!!!!
I also noticed a large tool box that wasn't organised properly and looked kind of hard to organise as some of the parts (nuts, bolts, washers) were smaller than the white part of my nails.
(hahaha kudos to the unlucky fuck who has to organise that.)
We must have talked for at least 1 hour. It was so interesting. He's a strong atheist, so we had a massive atheist discussion, which was so hilarious. He told me about his idols and about recent books he's read (Richard Dawkins mainly). We also talked about his past and my past (his was far more interesting), about the youth of today (horrifying and embarrassing) and what it was like growing up when he was around my age. So interesting. I officially adore intelligent people, they're so fascinating.
Yoann came into the room quite frequently to check up on us (probably heard me laughing too loudly pahahaha). When he walked in, I did that sitting up straight thing and stopped talking quickly oops naughty eve (omg shut up eve you're embarrassing).
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that we talked about bad Rob (lol I was gossiping with Rob about Rob) and he was like:
"ugh what a peasant"
After finally finishing his work (probably my fault because we talked the whole time oops), we came back into the room and Yoann asked Rob (good) if he would be willing to kind of 'look out' for me tomorrow because the team would be out in the field from 9:30am to 4pm.
(Only 1 hour back at the office at the end of the day wtf?!?!)
He was like:
'yeahhh suuuure I think I could do that"yeah you better fucking think so otherwise I will be sent yet again to camp misery ie. bad Rob's team where it will just result in probable suicide. plus I like u
So then we were kind of bored and sitting around (ok just me and Rob), and he was looking through his drawers (no not those kind ew) and I spotted a mysterious looking box amongst his things. So Rob pulled it out (ew) and it turns out it was this thing called a 'fart box'.
This genius in front of me owns a fart box with a remote control and keeps it in his desk, at work.
Oh my gosh, these guys were so funny. Yoann could hear me laughing and came over to see what was going on.
Rob told me that it's funny when you put it underneath someone's seat.
(he must have actually tried it out on someone lol)
BUT then Yoann (project manager) proceeded to telling me and giving us an example of how putting it in an enclosed area, like someone's bag, makes it sound more realistic as the sound is then muffled.
"SIMILARLY TO IF IT WAS BEING BLOCKED BY PANTS"he said that I'm not even lying he scientifically approached the topic of the fart box with an explanation
so he actually put it in someone's brief case (someone working across the room) and then Rob hit the button and everyone turned around to look at him and laugh omg how I love these people
errr so after that discussion
I kind of just sat on my chair (which was kind of facing the profile of the wall in between Yoann and Rob's desks) and watched everyone doing their work (fine by me, no maths problems you know). Not long after though, Yoann got up and started doing some more adjusting to the octocopter and I was given the job of throwing away all the bits he'd cut off etc. (he always laughed when he asked me to throw it away hahaha so nice). While sitting there I realised that I didn't mind doing shit jobs like that because this guy was a respectable person.
When he finished all his work, he just suddenly stood up:
"Come on we have to go now"
"Err what?"
"I thought you wanted to come with me to test the octocopter... unless you have a sheep phobia haha"
"Ohhhh no, of course I want to come"
And of course we must not forget that he said this in his fucking beautiful french accent of happiness.
So in reality it sounded more like this I guess:
"Courme orrrgghn ve 'ave to go naaw"
"Err what?"
"I thourgghrght you vantéd to courme wit meeee to test zee octocopter... urghnless yoü 'ave a sheep phobia horghorghorfhh"
"Ohhhh no, of course I want to come"THE TRIP TO THE FIELD WAS SO COOL I FELT LIKE HIS PERSONAL ASSISTANT.
We had to walk down the four floors again (regretfully as that meant we'd have to walk back up again later *cries) and I followed him to his car (oh yeah I forgot to say I was carrying the instructions and the remote control and he was carrying the octocopter). When we got to his car (cute little french car like you'd expect) we realised there was no room for the huge flying machine (aka octocopter) and that we'd have to take his two child seats out. I think the reason I felt like an assistant was because he didn't so much ask me to do things, he more or less told me to do things (fine by me):
"Move these"Once we finally moved everything out and into the car, we left the reception (where we put the kid seats temporarily) and he took two sweets from the thing on the counter for us
(HE'S SO FRICKINF COOL).
The day was reeeeaaaaaally hot, as the rest of the week was predicted to be. The car was way too hot so he opened the windows and it was ok again hehe. I didn't know the area at all, but we eventually started driving through a beautiful nature area. Yoann had said we were going to a field that belonged to one of his friends (he needed somewhere to fly that monstercopter). I think we talked more on the way and the conversations were always interesting.
The awkward thing was that there were two gates that needed to be opened to get to the specific field we were trying to reach. SO I (being the excellent assistant that I am) had to always get out and open them so he could drive through.
AND THEN FUCKING RUN AFTER THE CAR BECAUSE HE KEPT DRIVING TOO FAR AHEAD.
So when we arrived, the surroundings were very stunning for erm ..a field. There were rivers etched into the ground that looked a bit like marsh lands or whatever.
(omg murderers no shut up eve u r being a childish bitch)
Oh yeah and I had heels on and we had to cross this metal bridge with gaps in it and I of course fell over
...We extracted (wtf) the octocopter from the car and proceeded to (mainly him) turn it on. It had to be calibrated by being lifted up and tilted numerous times, so I helped with that. He eventually managed to get it to fly and I must admit, it was pretty fucking cool.
BUT IT WAS SO LOUD
I don't know how they would use that in the military for spy missions and whatnot.
So everything went perfectly well (ie Yoann did not crash the thousands of pounds worth of octocopter), apart from the fact that the altitude shower and stabiliser weren't functioning properly so that was a problem I guess.
On the way back Yoann was like:
"Close the gates"and we drove past a river with Geese and swans which made me really fucking scared for my life because have you seen videos like this:
I hate geese so much like why do they feel the need to terrorise humanity so extremely is it like a religion to them I bet it is.
It's the 'terrorise humanity for geese' religion.
So on the way back we talked more (I can't remember what we talked about urgh), but I remember talking about the differences between countries and talking about rural and urban areas and which is best. It was really awkward because at one point I said I prefer urban, but then he mentioned that he's about to move into a really rural area in the middle of nowhere oops. I think I also asked him about the cost of the equipment and he said that the remote was worth £300 and the actual octocopter was worth something like £8000.
(they had to get funding from the Government like woah)
When we got back (after dragging everything back up the four floors and putting the child seats back in the car), Yoann told his team about the problems and the geniuses set off to work.
I, being me, sat on my chair of stupidity (no biggie) and watched everything. They realised that the problem was with the software and that they needed to install a different update in order to get the altitude readings and the stabiliser working properly (They fixed the problem in like 45 minutes wtf). So when everything was sorted for the real test flight tomorrow (when they would take readings and other important observations), we decided to call it a day and watch none other than: Fail Videos.
Of what, you ask?
=Of Yoann's first octocopter flight where it lands quite hilariously.
(It landed on all the legs too quickly and then bounded back up again and landed with it's side stuck in the ground, breaking a propellor or something lol)
it's so fucking cool how they don't take themselves too seriously and can joke around as a group
At 5pm we all finished and Yoann walked me down the stairs. I, however, had to stay behind as my dearest mother could not pick me up until fucking 6pm.
Yoann suggested I watch cat videos to pass the time.
So as you can see, this blog post has been the longest so far as this was indeed the most interesting and eventful day in my week long work experience, so applause to you if you read it all.
Best day ever. Thanks Yoann. Thanks team of cool people. Can't wait to come back tomorrow even if none of you will be in the office. Thanks for involving me. Thanks for educating me. Thanks for being the coolest people ever.
PS: I SAW I AM A PREFECT BOY AGAIN AND HE WAS ON ROB'S COMPUTER AND HE LOOKED REALLY FUCKED OFF HAHAHAHAHA
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| "Hi I have troubles but it's ok because I am internet famous for going apeshit" |
So what have we learnt today?
Personality changes everything. You can be the smartest person in the world, but if you don't have a great personality to match, I dislike you.
Muchos love for all the views on 'My Work Experience (Day 1)'.
Tell me about YOUR work experience experience!!!!
Because baby I care:Au revoir bitches xoxo
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